Tiger may have the purest swing in the game of Golf, but his Sweedish wife is definitely handy with a 7-Iron. Gotta love the Chinese for this on-the-spot animation of the affair, maybe TMZ will follow suit and start doing hypothetical

Taking it Back to "Looseyville" with Machine and the Fat Jew

So I've have been keeping a low profile, trying to build up my Chi and center my gravity, (or is it vice versa?). Had to take a hot second to shout out my brethren of the Facelift gang on this homage to the Upper West Side in the roaring nineties, when the city still had some cajones (r.i.p. Dinkins era insanity). Check out this track off Machine's (Team Facelift) "The Jones Beach Mixtape" - available now

For all other matters of the Facelift Gang (duck down)

KING KHAN & The Shrines :: Soul Powered Insanity with German Precision

A King Khan & the Shrines show is a sensory blitzkrieg , a multi-layered explosion of R&B infused insanity and if you aren't privy to the party yet, peep this throw'd-back video for "Land of the Freak" off their album, What Is?! (vice) ...

King Khan and the Shines play an updated brand of soul-powered rock 'n soul reminiscent of MC5, or more recently the Dirtbombs, but with a German horn section that could keep Ike Turner guessing. Soul music for the modern era maniac - a King singing about the fringe benefits of a Sex n Drugs lifestyle, Welfare Bread, and of course, Trannies - seriously, who doesn't wanna hear a call and response song about an incident with a Tranny - something Khan himself was relatively proud of when i asked him about the song after a show at South-by.

King Khan will be making his rounds this summer along with his band of radical (bundt party) Germans and their glitter-girl cheerleader who shakes her zoftig stuff all show long. Seriously, if you have a chance to see them live DO IT - you will not be disappointed...


Galifianakis vs Portman/ Between 2 Ferns :: Funny Yes, Die Yes...

I have always loved Galifiakinakis's dead-pan idiocy, and his series of absurd (and often Obscene) Between Two Ferns interview's are a fine form of of viral entertainment. He really puts the screws to Natalie Portman, as she seems genuinely stunned. Make sure you wait for his closing question, I assume that's the point at which a handler of some affect intervened and pulled Portman away from her unbeknownst stupor. Or, the whole thing is a set-up, but somehow that doesn't seem in keeping with Zach G's comedy stee. Well played Sir...


Poverty Funds Piracy in Somalia, Just ask K'naan

K'naan's star has been shining for a while, and with all the press he's been getting its likely we will see him become a more compelling version of a Wyclef character, outspoken but down to earth. He never signed-up to be the only public representative of his native Somalia (and more recently Toronto), but really who would want such a job. But he definitely sheds some light on how desperation andf hunger in a lawless land coule easily lead to the outbreak of piracy in the Somali region - check out this K'naan "Somalia" video...

good looks to Dutty Artz, where i pinched this vid - and to K'naan, the only music crusader i can sign-off on, the dude is deep, but not a preacher. Take notes all you backpacking chatter-boxes with too many causes.

What you know about that Brown Brown?


Rrrah Rrrah - 77KLASH drops tha hot Fiahh

77Klash (or Two-Seven Klash) has been dropping hot-fire in dance hall scenes in NYC and Kingston for a while now, working with everyone from reggae rude-bouys to electro-deckers - 77Klash is known and respected for his hard-pressing riddims and his fiery one-liners.
Check out his new video", Klash is raging in the cage and...

77Klash is Jamaican born and New York bred - his music reflects this culture-clash - Dancehall spiced with Rap-Game bravado and Electro infusions that will move the masses in any party in NYC, Jamaica and anywhere else it spins.

Look out for Two-Seven Klash making moves in the summer months, "blow tha weed 'n keep on smugglin'," nuff-said...


The PRODIGY invade NYC - I did NOT die

THE PRODIGY came back "across the pond" to NYC for the first time in a long-menudo . The Show was undeniably EPIC and the group have NOT lost a step, begging the question, what are they on (not important, as they still RAGE with RECKLESS ABANDON). Check out The Prodigy's new album Invaders Must Die, an aggressive testament to big bass belligerence. nor have they stopped bringing both the "poison" and "the remedy" to the party - i couldn't help it, that song was my first electro jam on tape (yup, somewhat OG), back when the kids called it "techno" - ick...

The Prodigy's electronic extravagence and thumping mega bass blasting - combined with a dizzying strobe menagerie, heavy guitar riffs and the wall of sound at Roseland and you have an angst-filled-rager that would have made Michael Alig proud. Also, The Prodigy's NYC invasion could not have been more timely, as the other PRODIGY (mobb deep) is stuck in the pen for a little longer - avoiding any confusion over which Prodigy would show-up.

LONG LIVE THE BASS - god save the Nineties...

Christian Rich "Countdown" [to] keeping it funky with a String Quartet...

Christian Rich
played a short set at the Studio@Webster Hall this Saturday for a sparse crowd of devotees and drifters (myself included). While the show was heavily under-promoted by "da club (promoter)," C. Rich kept it real and kept it moving - playing a tight little ditty with a string-quartet. Having done tracks with everyone from Jeezy to Team Facelift to Armand van Helden to Weezy, Christian Rich is primed to make big moves in 2009.

Check out this little viddle of a video of "countdown" to get a glimpse of what C. Rich is rocking-with for the live sets...


I feel safe in New York City: Guard Your Grillz, Summer's coming...

In all my years flying in and out of NYC, I can't remember ever getting this kind of view from the plane. Yes, the city at night is a fine view especially for the tourists and transient locals, but seeing nYc in the golden spring sun was a fine reminder of just how fucking epic New York is, especially after a 24 hour layover in the industrial wasteland section of San Antone.

aerial new jork

aerial citi

Citi Field is looking pretty fly from above, psyched for the start of the Mets season - though the tkts are getting pret-ty 'spency. Made-off with the Wilpon's money too, it would appear...


SXSW 09 - Mr. Noobs' wild ride through the radio...

Here's a little ditty from my trip to the Texas, South by South Fest was turned into Kanye West's play ground for a week, none of which i attended, by choice, and a need to see something fresh (not in that "I wear bright colors" stee). However, Kanye and his damage control definitely paid some dues, as many spindly hip journalists instantly changed fiddle when they heard they might meet the man. Whatever, i don't hate, i just think Kwest is annoying, and increasingly, so is his music. I did see Metallica (fuckin' epic, brah), one of the three "suprises" of this year's SXSW (along with Jane's at Hefs, which sadly i missed (boo hoo)).... Anyhow, this is what i saw down in the desert (the texas jewel that is Austin). Sans Metallica flicks, which i forewent as i was in need of a respite from said 18-hour tours of duty.

if you ask me, there is no way for one person, or even one outlet to cover southby proper. However, if you know what you like you can basically move through it pretty seamlessly, walking through the Southby insanity like it's a radio, walking in and over and out of whatever you like, provided you have some creds, or some money, or a whole lot of friends in Austin. Good looks and more hooks at WWW.CHINASHOPMAG.COM


JESUS? Was it really St. Paddy's Day





St. Paddy's Day fallout on the UES. I feel like the sun made things a little less debauched, at least for the day time hours. I just saw some drunken mickelson almost get hit by a car, and he didn't even notice. He just kept stumbling...

Happy St. Paddy's Day, have a potato, on me...


Who's Got that N.A.S.A.?? America's Collide in a Musical Mashterpiece

North America South America, OR N.A.S.A. as they are more commonly known are my new favorite source of unlikely mash-ups and electronic (musical) indulgences - the genuine article. How Else could they get everyone from the RZA, to Tom Waits, Kanye and Sizzla, and even music-snobbish Davis Byrne to collaborate on their tracks??

Their new Album, "The Spirit of Apollo" is fire, cover to cover. Unfortunately, it was hard to search their name for freebies, I was actually forced to Buy at Best...
they are popping-off Tonight AT Le Poisson Rouge

click for tails


Signals and Symptofiers


Not to harp on this "economic down-turn" or anything all-too obvious, but the streets Downtown are already getting "cutty" circa Dinkin's New York - without the open-air heroin trade and all the garbage in the streets (but many more Euros), naturally.


Signs that it is TIME TO GRIND: Recessionary Tactics


As a rule, I NEVER take pictures of the homeless, I'd rather exploit most other sects of society (who have something to lose, and aren't on their last legs) for my creative dealings. Dude was so out of it, that he just wandered into the frame (to relieve himself on this vacated Public Library across from MoMA, naturally) while i snapped the photo. What can ya do? Everybody is a smug hypocrite some of the time. Also, i think it made for a much better picture. It's my birthday, indulge me.


GHETTO METAL getting busy at SXSW - Bun-B, and B.o.B. Included

Click the link to peep the line-up and for more about Bazaar Royale and his GHETTOMetal Movement. I'll be there to rage in the cage (Texas-style, spurs and all that) with Bazaar, BUN-B, Rick ROSS, B.o.B. - getting open in Austin and hitting the streets guerilla-style. Find me at South By, and I will buy you an ice-cream cone (nay, homo).

Stay-tuned for more updates about SXSW - there will be BLOG...


Another Message from the FACELIFT GANG...

"I Wanna Have Your Baby" - Team Facelift
Dir. Joshua Trank
Prod. Nick Gallo

I've been waiting for this to be internet ready for a minute. Definitely Facelift's edgiest video venture (to date), which is saying a lot - I'm into that. I'm going to let it breath for a second, as I feel I owe something a little more punchy than I'm capable of in this haze of haze that i find myself in at the moment.

Let's hope they make it to SXSW, because there just won't be the same level of insanity without them, at least for this guy...


Wheatie's Takes a HIT after Dumping Doper Phelps

It turns out smoking pot causes excessive cereal consumption (surprised?). The Huffington Post recently reported the Kellogg's brand has taken a bit hit (not of the sticky, I assure you) after vigilant potheads (go figure) banded together in a nation-wide ban on Kelloggs cereals - in a rather pathetic (and effective) show of solidarity for fellow stone-a-friend, Michael Phelps. Personally, I could give a shit if the guy is smoking the greens in the off-season, he's a grown-ass mer-man. Also, his full sweep of Olympic Gold medals is a pretty good indication that the pot hasn't stunted his motivation. Kellogg's should just be glad their Golden Boy got caught "ripping bing-ers," and not running a dog fighting racket, or getting all jacked-up on "the clear." Luckily for Kellogg's, most of the long-hairs involved in the ban will probably forget that they pledged their allegiance to said cause by the time of their next trip to the Supermarket. Or, when they find out Rice Krispie Treats are made with a Kellogg's cereal.

For the reported version with actual quotes and such; go to Huffington Post

Or, Check the NY Post's amusing musings on Kellogg's and their Potted Clientele


Happy Birthday to le Fat Jew


Don't get it twisted, intolerance is definitely NO laughing matter (sooo, '99), but there IS something decidedly hilarious about seeing such vulgar words on a Birthday Cake, especially when its the same Carvel Ice Cream cake you probably had at your 5th Birthday party. Just to clarify, it was the Birthday boy himself who scrawled this choice message on the cake. What you think that shit is funny? Well yeah, it is...

I mean, we have a Black President and the Oscar's just honored the life (and story) of Harvey Milk, loosen up a little.


Making More Memories with the TEAM (facelift) at Webster Hall - Beef Included


Team Facelift played a quick set at Webster Hall on Tuesday. It was definitely the most fun I've had in a minute - harkening back to earlier more degenerate (and darker) shows at the dawn of this new millenia. When it was certainly not uncommon to heckle (or pummel) some asshole in the crowd who felt like popping shit, these people usually have no sense of humor, making for easy targets. Also, we always have some goons on layaway, so usually these altercations just make for some fun at some washed-up turkey's or neva-has-been lunatic's expense. At the end of the day, the combined efforts of a packed crowd, a couple bottles of free (and cheap) vodka and some wildey new dance tracks, made for another moment in Facelift Histerectomy. You shoulda been there, but there's usually a next time.

- FONDA letting out a battle cry (apparently somebody heard it, i ain't sayin' no names...)




- Beef and I hold down the Flank, just in-case the Riff raff steps outta line. I don't think any of us are getting shot tonight, which is always nice.


As per usual, i was on bottle-brandishing duty, snapping pict-chas and warding off evil doers (what i do best). Facelift is shining right now, braising some fly new funk in the cookerie and priming themselves for the spring touring season. We get colder in the winter months, so we can ignite in the summer sun.


City-Slickin' Bass Fisherman, Yeah That's Me...

I am crushing it on the Angler's INN website...

I go down to Mexico to fish for Bass in the dead of the New York winter, it's a great pass time (thanks, dad). Little did I know when i we first went to the Angler's Inn, five years ago, that it is LITERALLY the best place to fish for Bass in the entire world. I digress, check out the burn i got this year on the Anglers Inn website. This "City Buoy" is writing fishing reports and shit...

Maybe this is how I can earn some money in this haggard economy, i mean, the Japanese love this Bass Fishing, and they are SOO cutting edge, aren't they?

I'm trying to go pro, but only in the winter time, it's warm where the Bass live. I'm trying to keep it country in the winter months...



I'm pretty sure this is that young knucklehead Shaun White. He's so cute...

The Red Bull Snowscrapers event on Thurs. was pretty crazy, though addmittedly it was so fucking cold that i spent half of my time there on a Booze Cruise party ship, so i missed some of the action. Though the boat provided warmth from the frigid outside, and innumerable open bars, so i'd say i was thouroughly entertained throughout, good looks REDBULL, and the city of New York (i guess?). I did take a couple flicks of contestants (if i was getting paid i would probably list each of the riders, and talk about what sort of jumps they did of this massive kicker-hip on the East River Park) going "big".

Shaun White placed 6th, though still goes home to one of his appointed manses, and probably some snowbunny (or a redbull girl?). A dark-horse contestant from New Jersey Shayne Pospisil (im sure his name has been misspelled a lot in the past few days) and took home 50 K! I'm not mad at the kid, that money will go a long way in this economy, maybe he can get himself a proper website (what a stoner).

Here's a small selection of Photos from Snowscrapers



I was pretty cold (somewhat frostbitten) and bit "out of sorts" when i shot all this stuff, so im not sure who this is, but he's got some serious air off that jump.

Kudos to the unknown soldier...


- "I'm on a Boat..." mothafucka (it was SOO cold out), so's this dood i guess...

You kinda have to love Red Bull for having the resources (and balls) to do these ridiculous (and awesome) events around the world. I wanna see them do that Flugtag shit through the streets of Harlem next...?


"Boss Time" is now OVER; Back to the Business of Making my own Memories


Sometimes I find myself wandering through the streets of New York with a camera late at night, scouring the City for visual artifacts. In an era where grass-roots marketing has moved to the web, some people, like this industrious photog (advertising in a Union Square phone booth), are holding on to the old way of spreading the word. Or, maybe he's on to something, as the city is strewn with low-rent creatives looking for a big-break. Maybe this break actually CAN be found in a photobooth. Luckily, this is not what I am looking for, and I honestly can't remember the last time I used a pay phone.

God, I am SO glad that I am NOT an actor. I prefer the DIY mentality of the artiste/muckraker I am fast becoming...


It's....BOSS Time!!!

I have to say, watching Bruce Springsteen rock out the Super Bowl with the reckless abandon of an aged teenager it made me realize how he might be (as has been so well publicized) the ideal schlock-God for the global community of Meat-lovers watching this EPIC machine of an event that is, le Super Bowl. Really, he had that audience eating out of the palm of his blue-collar hands his after one shriek of his gruff howl, and I'm certainly not mad at it. Springsteen is the American Rock Icon who deserves such a beer-embattled raging audience as found at the Super Bowl, and he DEFINITELY knew what to do with said crowd.

Also, as much as i might not LIKE to admit it, he's probably one of the best ambassadors we (as an Americans) have going in the music world at this point. I mean, you find me someone with anything even remotely derogatory to say about "the Boss" in question? - then punch him in the mouth. The Boss puts on a damn good show in his twilight years, and sure as hell beats Cisco or Fuckin' Paul McCartney (were they SERIOUS?)

I'm not saying i listen to this so-called "boss" with much frequency, but i definitely have moments when Born to Run is JUST what the doctor ordered (don't front, you fucking music geeks...) Honestly, who can really argue with the merit of his Hit-Factory? Check out "born in the USA" if you're feeling nostalgic. EPIC 80's schlock done to poignant perfection.

Stevie Van is also the Boss in my mind, talk about a man of many hats (no puns)...


Thursday Night MashOut


- The Fat Jew Gets Open at Anchor Bar on Thursdays for Wooden Nickles and Complex Carbs



- Things Start Getting Loose at when Frog pumps up the volume...

- DJ DANCESWITHWHITEGIRLS Mashing up the Crank at Studio@Webster hall


Grumpy Old Kanye West with The Lollipop clan in gay paris...

Look at grumpy Kanye. It is such a chore to be a celebrity mucking about in dreary ol' Paris (I hear it is simply dreadful in the Winter months). I don't know who took this picture, but im into the fact that it exists...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I really think Kanye could use a break from being a music empressario and overall asshole - he looks depressed. Maybe one of his elves can give him hug??

Touching Back Down in Old New York...


Back from a spell in the Sierra Madres and some time in the Mountains of Colorado, I am rejuvenated. Touching down into Manhattan i am strangely invigorated by the signs of New York fast becoming the city i once loved - the city of recession and angst i once knew and always missed. Just like the rest, NY got High on free-money and eager to build bigger, better and more than the rest, now I see New York City's signs of duress in the form of closed stores, astronomical sales and despondent faces. A new President is a sign of hope (to many), but there is little than be done for the inevitable decline of abundant (illusions) of prosperity in New York - much moreso in some of the lands I have seen in my absence.


New York is about to get a little uglier than some have known it to be in the recent past, a habitat known-well by my merry band of miscreant friends and native associates. Guard your grill, stay sharp and don't bat an eye. Or, you could just hightail it back to the suburbs, which I would recommend to the out-a-town crowd...

I am back in NEW YORK, about to get into the muck and grind it out with the rest of 'em. Let's weed-out the weaklings, so that those who fly-high shall prosper and shine...

Re-Run the Dinkins Era, for serious...


Gone Fishin' (in Mexico) . . .




"double cheese" - pancho (our guide y compadre)


Bass Fishing at Lake El Salto, Mexico - - Ask about me?

Pescados Grande Todo Lo Dia